Recipe Group: Pressed Italian Sandwiches

I am really excited about this one! Last night was recipe group ... which of course means great people, good laughs, and amazing food! I really look forward to this little group of people getting together ever month! it makes my month! This month my dear friend Amanda called the theme and it was sandwiches ... holy good idea batman! E is a sandwich person ... as long as that sandwich is peanut butter and honey ... I have been needing some variety ... I am getting majorly sick of peanut butter and honey ... and I don't even eat it! Basically, the theme of sandwiches couldn't have come at a better time!

Since E is addicted to one single kind of sandwich I am not exactly an expert in this field. But, recipe group is  all about expanding your food horizons ... therefore I took to pinterest to find something that seemed worthy of the group. I found this little number to be most appetizing ... I have been obsessed with Italian subs lately ... I mean ... hello ... have you tried the vito at Jimmy Johns ... heaven in a sandwich! But here is a version of an Italian sub that is just as good and you can add your own spin to it (I mean ... I went to go and buy ingredients yesterday morning ... apparently Smiths does not have as much variety as I would have liked ... but ... with the snow storm my choices were limited as to which store to go to ... either way they turned out pretty great). So here we go:

Pressed Italian Sandwiches

6 small Ciabatta rolls (or you can use large buns or bread and slice up after … I used a giant roll)
2-3 Tbsp. butter
3 red peppers
1 large bunch of arugula, rinsed and patted dry
1 ball fresh mozzarella cheese, sliced.
Assorted Italian cold meats, about ¼ pound each (I used Genoa Salami, Pepperoni, and Hard Salami)
Balsamic Vinegar
Olive Oil
Salt and Pepper, to taste

Roast peppers … To roast the red peppers: Set your oven to the Broil setting. Slice the sides off the red peppers and place skin side up on a baking sheet (trim the ends so they lie as flat as possible). Place under the broiler until very well charred (black) on top, about 10 minutes (watch closely after 5 minutes. You’ll want them to be mostly blackened on top.) Remove from the oven and immediately place the peppers in a plastic ziploc bag. Pop in the refrigerator for 30-40 minutes. Remove peppers from bag and peel off the blackened skin with a knife. Discard the skin and place the peppers into a small bowl. Drizzle with a bit of olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Set aside. Cut your ciabatta in half and butter each piece (or you could brush with a bit of olive oil, if you prefer, but butter will help prevent moisture from getting into the bread … especially butter well under the red peppers if your sandwiches will be sitting for more than a day.). Place a layer of red pepper on bottom slice of bread. Top with a generous layer of cold meats (5 or 6 layers ... don't do what I did and do 11 ... way too many [I thought my bread was thicker than it was ... kill me]). Top the cold meat with a layer of the mozzarella slices. Drizzle some balsamic vinegar over the mozzarella slices and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Top with a generous layer of arugula. Cover with top slice of ciabatta. Wrap each sandwich tightly with plastic wrap and place on a platter or baking sheet. When all the sandwiches are prepared, place the platter in the refrigerator. Place a heavy skillet on top of sandwiches to apply weight (if you don’t have a heavy skillet, top with another baking sheet and place some large cans on top for the weight).Refrigerate at least 6 hours or ideally, overnight.

Lemon Chicken Pasta with Spinach

Hello friends!

I know it's hot topic Monday ... and I still might post after this one ... but I decided to do another recipe! This one was one I experimented with in Texas and it is so worth a post! For those who know me know that I really love the taste of lemon ... I mean ... there is this one chicken recipe ... That I seriously must post ... but holy crap ... it tasted like springtime ... I don't know how .... but it was good ... that's it ... it's decided ... I'll post it. But in the meantime ... I have this other lemon recipe that is fantastic (which I found here) ... and so I present:

Lemon Chicken Pasta with Spinach 

 1/2 lb angel hair pasta
4 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper
4 chicken breasts (the original website has a recipe for adding yummy spices to chicken ... I didn't have all the ingredients ... and so I will just let you go there ... or make up a seasoning for your chicken!)
2 lemons, zested and juiced
3/4 c. half and half
1 c. Parmesan cheese
1 c. baby spinach (stems removed)
3 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

Cook chicken breasts and cut into chunks. Cook pasta as it says on box (set aside if it finishes before the rest of things in your skillet). Add oil, garlic and red pepper to a skillet and cook until the oil sizzles (7 to 10 minutes). Add juice of one lemon, half and half, and a ladle full of pasta water to the skillet. Allow to simmer for a couple of minutes. Drain pasta and add to sauce along with lemon zest. Toss for a minute or two. Finally, add spinach and chicken and stir together. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Enjoy!

Chicken Parmesan

Hey everyone!

Finally I am back on the recipe train! It helps that I asked R to play his xbox instead of the computer ... I am now able to blog! So ... why not jump back in with a bang as far as recipes go! I am super duper excited about this one is because it was my own recipe! I decided that I wanted to make Chicken Parmesan but didn't feel like making the same boring recipe of bread crumbs and Prego ... and so I decided to try something new ... totally worth it! Wait until you try it! This little puppy is packed with flavor ... so get excited for a party in your mouth:

Parmesan Chicken

bread crumbs:
1.5 slices bread (I used whole wheat)
2 tsp Italian seasoning (not the dried dressing ... the other stuff ... dried spices)
2 cloves garlic
1 c. shredded Parmesan cheese

sauce:
1.5  c. traditional Prego sauce (it's quicker that way)
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp Italian seasoning

3-4 chicken breasts
1 c. milk
1 tbsp olive oil
mozzarella cheese (as much as you want!)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Throw all ingredients except for Parmesan cheese into food chopper (I minced the garlic first so it would be super fine). Chop until basically pulverized. Stir in Parmesan cheese and put on a plate. Stir together all ingredients for the sauce. Submerge chicken in milk then coat with breadcrumbs. Put oil in pan and heat on medium heat. Add chicken to pan to brown. Once browned put chicken in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes. When your last five minutes of cooking hits take the chicken out and put sauce mixture and then mozzarella cheese over the chicken. Put chicken back in the oven and cook for remaining five minutes.  Enjoy!

yummy looking huh! We decided to go almost full blown Olive Garden Tour of Italy!

That's it! I hope you enjoy this episode as much as our family did! 

Hot Topic Monday: Eat My Shorts ...

Hello bloggosphere!

I know I blogged earlier ... but later I realized that today was not, in fact, Saturday ... can you believe it? I couldn't either ... having the hubby home during the week really throws me for a loop! Upon this realization I had yet another one ... it is Monday! You know what that means ... it's time for a hot topic! I haven't done this in a while ... so bear with me!

It has been brought to my attention that I may be making people angry when I talk about my struggles with my step-daughter ... specifically saying that I don't want her right now. Now, I apologize if I have offended you in this regard ... if I have ... I am now going to politely ask you to eat my shorts and tell you that if you are not going through it then you have no right to get angry (let's be honest ... it's only hurting you if you are getting angry ... because it actually doesn't bother me ... I know ... surprised me too) ... and if you are going through it ... well ... I am sure you are not getting offended!

I will now go through the process of explaining why you should not get angry.

First ... there is something that you must know about me ... when I say something out loud it tends to make it better (I get over things faster when I talk about them) ... like when I talked about my flashes from my divorce I have ... You should know that since I have said it out loud and gotten it out I have yet to have another one (not to say that they are gone forever ... but it makes it better). I think that everyone can benefit from not bottling things in ... I mean ... haven't there been studies ... I won't say there have been because I don't know ... maybe I'll go look it up sometime. But seriously ... bottling things in is like shaking a soda ... eventually if you shake it enough it is going to burst ... whoops ... there goes your soda/emotions everywhere (you can not tell me that when you bottle your emotions up you don't think about whatever it is that is irking you at least twice a day ... shake, shake buddy) ... I wonder who will receive the brunt of that blown load ... oh that's right ... the person who was with you when the last shake was made. That may be relieving for the soda but sure as heck not for the person who now has soda all over them ... Imagine if that person was E ... Imagine that I didn't take the time every once and a while to voice what a struggle it is for me to be in this ... I am not a monster ... but I am sure that I would be when the inevitable snap came. It may be hard for people to hear that I struggle with having a step-child but it helps me to say it out loud.

As for you who say "well, what if she reads this one day" ... to that I say ... I hope she does ... I hope that one day we can look back on this together and see how we have both grown together (she does not want me right now either ... that is no secret) ... show her how flowers really can grow from ashes (positive thinking my friends). I realize that that moment should not come until E is in her thirties ... what happens if she reads it earlier ... well ... she and I are in for a big talk aren't we. It is just as likely if I were to write a journal about these things ... I mean ... I found things of my parents that should not have been found ... I won't say what ... lets just say it wasn't dirty ... but lets move on anyway! But those objects were not on the computer at all ... they were things that my mom had written or something they were hiding from prying eyes ... so why is is so bad that my journal is on the internet? Either way you get your feelings out ... and I have to get my feelings out ... Why not put it out there to help people ... which brings me to my second point.

Two ... I write this blog in hopes that it will help someone ... to let people know that they are not alone in their struggles ... to let them know that there is someone who has been there and is there and is there for them. I could not imagine how depressed I would fully be if I felt like I was alone in my feelings ... I mean ... it already kills me that I feel this way in the first place ... but if I felt like I was the only person in the world who felt this way then I would probably be on the verge of suicide (thank you so much dear friend [my parents told me to omit the name .. but you know who you are] for letting me know I am not alone ... I really do love you). How do you not want a precious tender four-year-old? What kind of person are you? I may sound like a tree-hugging hippie here ... but I just want everyone to be happy and healthy and get a long ...  I know that I do not have a hard life ... if fact ... my life is pretty blessed ... but I have been through some stuff ... my family has been through some stuff ... we are a little damaged ... and, as I always say, if I can help at least one person go through what I have gone through with this blog I will be satisfied. Life is an uphill battle for everyone, why not help each other a little.

Third ... I know myself remarkably well. My mom is a strong and smart woman ... whenever we have a conversation and I find myself complaining to her she always asks what I did wrong in the given situation ... sometimes this is mega frustrating ... I mean ... can't I just vent mom? Overall, however, I am soo very very grateful she does this. By her doing this it has opened my eyes ... I mean ... obviously there is never just one person who is wrong in any situation ... there is always fuel that makes a fire burn ... by me being better able to recognize my follies I am so much quicker to grow, change, and, most importantly, forgive. When I recognize my wrong and forgive the other person and myself I am able to, again, overcome my obstacles faster (believe me ... I am not perfect ... and this does not always happen ... but I am getting pretty good at it). How does this help in my argument ... well ...  I know when it comes to E I am one hundred percent in the wrong ... I know that I am being selfish in my feelings ... I know that I need to grow up and I need to, as I was telling a friend this week, put on my big girl panties and get over it. I also know that I have gotten myself into this situation ... I chose to marry R knowing that he came with her .. and I would honestly do it again ... but that does not make it easier. I recognize that E is completely the innocent here ... that everyday I choose to struggle is a day that I choose to hurt her a little. It kills me completely that I feel this way ... I struggle and pray and struggle and pray ... every day. I try ... every day ... I recommit ... every day ... and that is the point ... that I recognize what I am doing wrong ... and I try ... as I said before, life is an uphill battle ... I will fight every single gosh darn day to make things better for my little family ... and part of my fight is getting my feelings out ... so ... deal.

Finally ... you should also now that E knows nothing but love from me. When I was growing up I had (actually ... I probably still have) a severe case of middle child syndrome ... when I would talk to my parents about how I felt I always prefaced it with "it's not about the love" because no matter how alone I felt I always knew how much my parents loved me. That is how it is with E ... I love her so very very much ... I may not quite be on the level of "came from my womb" but my love for her grows every single day. This ties back to my first point about letting emotions out ... because I do that I am able to show E nothing but love ... I am able to get over myself throughout the day if I have a night full of venting. I love her ... plain and simple.

I hope that I have better informed you ... I hope that you can understand why I do what I do ... I love my blog ... I love feeling like I can help someone ... but if you still disagree with my decision to post my feelings online ... well ... I don't make you read this blog ... so don't read it anymore.

Things to take away:

1. Don't let what other people think bother you. This is super difficult ... I struggle with this all the time ... I think it's part of my disease to please ... yet it is so important ... I realized with this situation that I am starting to care less and less about what people think about me. I mean ... I think that there is a difference between respect of people and not caring about what they think of you ... you should always be respectful of other people and their feelings ... but you don't have to care what they think about you. I am still going to write personal things on this blog ... I am still going to post about my struggles ... I may even still say some times that I don't want the situation I am in.
2. It is ok to struggle. Remembering of course that if you are the adult in the situation you are the accountable party. As an adult in a circumstance where both E and I struggle I know that I am the one who is held to the higher standard because of my knowledge ... because of my age ... because I am her mom. It is expected of an adult to be able to overcome oneself ... it is ok for E to not want me right now ... but it is not ok for me to not want her. However, it is ok to struggle ... life, again ... as I have said before, is an uphill battle ... getting over things is never easy even if you are the adult in the situation ... just make sure that the child never knows your struggle. 
3. It is ok to get your feelings out. In fact ... you should get your feelings out ... there are more ways than writing to do it. Anything that helps relieve the stress of the everyday is good for you ... whether it is talking to a friend ... running like mad at the gym... going to a gun range and shooting ... screaming into a pillow ... I mean ... pick your poison ... there is a lot out there. What you have to do is take responsibility for your actions ... if you choose to write like I do you have to be prepared for backlash ... or for some little person finding your words one day and having to have a big chat. As long as you accept the consequences that come with your chosen stress release then I think you are good to go ... but remember ... for every actions there is a consequence ... prepare yourself. 

slow internet and nerdy husband

today, the internet it very slow. I blame the cold. I mean ... I don't want to get out of bed in negative twenty degree weather .... but I have one thing to say to you internet ... shape up or ship out ... rather ... speed up or ship out.

Ok ... so I know the real reason why the internet is slow ... it is because my husband is a nerd ... I say that with the most affection possible ... believe me ... I love my sweet, tender, loving, nerdy husband. A nerd for a hubby can be so useful around the house ... any and all electronics are alive and kicking at any given point ... everything is neat and organized ... I no longer need to rely on comcast to install or fix things (which is a huge relief ... no offense people in India ... I really did love my chats with you all those years ago) ... really ... life is just easier when you hubby is a nerd (not to mention how tender-hearted [has everyone seen the picture of R and E playing barbies?] they are ...regardless if they admit it or not)!

Example of his greatness ... I forgot a before picture ... but R shattered the glass on his phone  ... and he replaced it himself!

ta-dah! All better!

I will say ... my sweet man who reminds me so much of wall-e, Lewis Robinson, and ... well ... I can't remember his name ... just think of the weirdest, most awkward, and funny Disney character you can think of ... combine all three and that is my hubby. What was I saying? Oh ... yes ... I will say ... when that wonderful man gets with his equally awesome step-brother josh they seem to hog all of the banwidth (I'm not going to lie ... I don't even know what that is ... so if this phrase was used incorrectly just give me credit for trying and move on). And so ... the reason as to why the internet is slow and I am unable to do anything but blog is because they are hogging the internet playing some kind of game that they played when they were younger.

I should thank them really ... I mean ... aside from it being super cute to see them play and strategize just like they are thirteen again ... it is beneficial to this blog ...   I have not been the best up-keeper of this blog in 2013 ... I mean ... I didn't even post recipes while in Texas ... well ... I tried to post my dads ziti for you (which is so good I could die) but he wouldn't let me. I will get better ... I have three on hold right now ... almost done ... so if I finish them then I will at least have four days worth of posts (no, my math is not that bad ... but your's might be if you didn't count this one you are reading!).

I guess the whole reason behind this post is to let everyone know that the best kind of husband is a nerdy husband ... you can always fix the way they dress ... but you will never have to fix who they are and what they can do! Here's to you nerds! Keep doing what you are doing ... we love you for who you are (even when you take up all the internet speed!)

love this sweet, amazing, NERDY man!

Downton Abbey

I know ... the blog has stalled ... I need new things to talk about ... I need to be more diligent about writing ... but this time I have a totally legit reason ... get ready ... oh heck ... it's already in the title ... Downton Abbey! Due to the lack of fresh episodes of shows I currently watch combined with the need for noise while I made decorations for a baby shower equals one of the most wonderful stumble-upons ever. I'm not going to lie ... I tried to watch it before ... but the first episode was not gripping ... but it ended on such a cliffhanger (as did all the episodes) that I couldn't peel my eyes away. So for the past five days I have been fully engrossed (whenever I have had a free second) in the lives of Mary, Edith, Sybil, their parents, and of course their unforgettable proper yet lose-lipped grandmother.

I don't know what it is about this show ... R and I were talking about it (yes ... he watches with me) ... and we discovered that the show really is frustrating ... bad things keep on happening to the same people. People who you were rooting for throughout the first season you have stopped rooting for them because it seems as if they will never win. We were finally blessed with the engagement of Mary and William ... but who knows if they will even make it down the aisle (I know those of you who are watching season three probably already know the answer to this loss of hope ... but don't spoil it for us ... we are getting there ... whenever it comes up on hulu). Don't even get me started on dumb old Mr. Bates ... He was the one character who I was really rooting for ... I believed in him ... not just because he was the love of my all time favorite character (oh dear Anna, how I love thee) ... but because he seemed kind and gentle ... a real gentleman though he is a servant ... He is the one who I have lost affection for the most ... seriously ... I actually think I loathe him now ... because he can't win ... and the way he just seems to blow in the wind without fighting for what he wants. Yea ... I am done with him.

So there you have it ... my reason for absence ... good one right!

Anyway ... so I guess I should post pictures of the baby shower that I threw with my best friend and her older sister for their younger sister ... all in the family right! Christen did the food ... which was unbelievably phenomenal ... and I did the decorations. Now ... before you critique the look of this shower please remember that it was in the cultural hall (aka: gym) of a church ... which I have never been very good at decorating ... and I was in Texas for two weeks right before this shower ... procrastinator that I am, I only worked on the decorations the last two days before the shower ... regardless, I think it turned out adorable!

Colors: green and purple
Theme: rain shower/showering Alysa with love

centerpieces ... raindrops on sticks in mason jars

front ... table with lights was the food table

gift table with the diaper cloud cake (that everyone seems to be repinning on Pinterest)

different angle

I made the garland and the R ... funny story with the R ... but that Jutte that is being used to cover it right there is the third thing that I did to the R ... the other two ways were really bugging me ... so each of them got scrapped respectively

So That's it!

Have a wonderful evening my friends!

Home

Logan is the second longest place I have lived in my life. Ogden is the first, eight years. This is the longest place I have ever lived, eight years. It sounds like such a long yet short time. Recently I went down to Ogden to do some Christmas shopping (E was with her mom for the weekend and R was in New York), before telling anyone I was there I decided to drive around my old neighborhood. I had never taken the time, by myself, to see the places where ninety five percent of my childhood memories exist.

Third house down ... mine. 

I couldn't quite put my feelings together. I had no idea what I was feeling while I was driving around all of my old haunts. I distinctly remember thinking how small everything is, even the streets seem doll house-esque. There was also the contrasting emotions of swelling love yet unquenchable emptiness. I have such a fondness for this small house on Franklin street, but there is nothing left that it holds for me aside from my memories. The only person who I talk to on a consistent basis from this period of my life would be my best friend. We met when we were here ... in the same ward ... her mom brought us together ... we haven't let go of each other since ... a part of me believes that she is my soul mate ... throughout my ever-changing life she has been my only constant ... in that regard I think Heavenly Father knew I needed her ... we knew each other in Heaven ... and we will know each other throughout eternity. Every once in a while I would talk to a couple of others who I knew in elementary school ... I previously considered some of them my best friends as well ... I have moved past that ... another story for another day. 

What was funny about trying to comprehend the feelings experienced in that tiny neighborhood was realizing that I had felt that way before. I needed a piece of paper a couple of days later ... so I grabbed the closest notebook to me ... What you should know about me is that I never write consecutively in a notebook ... I don't have time for that ... I just flip to a page and start writing ... well ... the page I flipped to was one I had written months ago ... I want to share some of it ... 

I have lived my life as a nomad ... for the most part I have loved it ... wandering from place to place ... not really belonging anywhere ... but being free to belong everywhere ... the excitement of always being able to reinvent yourself to be a better more cooler version of you, taking the vast opportunities to perfect who you are. (Before the age of eighteen I moved eight times ... since then I have moved seven times ... I am twenty-four ... my parents weren't military ... nor am I.) But then I watch things like One Tree Hill where the characters describe their home town as magic ... the place they want to be ... the place they were born, raised, and never want to leave ... and somehow manage to find their way back to ... and I realize I don't have that place. What scares me is that I feel too old to create one now. Where ever I go people will only know me for so long ... and so the revolving door of people entering and leaving my life continues. If there is anything that I have learned as I have gotten older is the ability to let go ... I understand that we glean what we need from other people and then we move on ... we learn to feel grateful for them, for the impact they have had in our lives ... but sometimes I wish I wasn't such a nomad. Sometimes I wish I would have gone to high school in the same place all four years instead of dividing it by two ... perhaps even in a town where I had already been to both elementary and middle school ... where I would still be in the lives of people who I have known for longer than a year or two ... maybe there would have been magic there for me too. I started to feel that magic in Hershey ... we only lived there four years ... but ... maybe that is why I love the east so much ... what it represents for me ... the possibilities of magical properties in which a sanctuary can be established. But we left there ... and because family is so important to me ... I will never go back there. Maybe this is why I am resisting children so much ... how will I ever be able to establish roots for a family when I don't even know how to grow them. How do I stay in one place ... how do I force myself to feel magic for my off-springs sake ... how do I save them from feeling the gaping hole that I feel whenever I look at my old groups of friends that come from all over the country ... who most likely don't remember me.

Now ... that was a bit dramatic ... sometimes writing when I am feeling emotional helps me be normal for the outside world ... well ... as normal as I can be. But ... lets be honest ... those are legit feelings ... That is why Christen is so important to me ... everyone else I was ever friends with is out of my life ... aside from those who I am friends with right now where I live ... because of the person I am and the love and care I feel for those around me I would have gone mad if I didn't have my constant ... someone to fall back on when I had to leave everyone else ... I could always say in my head "at least I have Christen" ... that didn't stop the pain of losing friends ... but at least it gave me a soft place to land. 

I think that dramatic monologue also explains the feelings that I felt that December day in Ogden ... I will always love Ogden in some way ... I spent the most amount of time there ... but I would probably have those same feelings towards Hershey ... heck ... even when I am in San Antonio I like to drive around places I used to go  ... but these places ... have nothing for me now (unless I were to move back to any of them ... but even then it would be different).

The phrase is that you can never go home again ... I don't believe that ... My home is with my family ... my husband ... my child ... my parents ... my siblings ... my best friend ... I can always go home to them ... That is one thing that I have had to learn throughout my nomadic living ... home is not a place ... not a town ... it is wherever you are most comfortably your true self ... that ... my friends ... is where the magic really is. 

Oh hello old friend!

I'm baaaaack!

I want to thank my faithful followers for allowing me to take a month long hiatus from my blog so that I was able to maintain my sanity (using my super old mini netbook is on my top five things that drive me absolutely insane ... I use Rs computer), and to spend as much time with my family as I could (literally ... I love my parents and siblings so much that I start having heart palpitations when I don't see them for longer than three months). So thank you dear friends ... you are the best!

Sooo ... I had this whole post laid out ... I was going to do an update with lots of pictures ... but ... I've decided against it ... If you want to know all about my my Christmas vacation with the Schmucker clan then please let me know ... maybe I'll throw some pictures of our trip at the bottom for good measure.

Sooo ... actually ... with this post I think I am done ... I am not exactly sure that I know what to talk about here ... sooooo ... this means ... ummmm ... picture time!

cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve

I think Texas people may over do it with Christmas lights ...

... And inflatable decorations 

Love Christmas morning ... not for the presents ... but for the meaning and the love 

And the breakfast ... seriously ... best ever ... eggs Benedict ... heaven 

Es face ... love

First achievement with the easy bake oven!

Rs electric can opener that he asked for ... oh dad ... soooo funny ... almost as good as my  fry-in-pan

First thing E did when she got to the beach

beautiful

E was so super scared here ... so funny ... 

U.S..S Lexington ... aka ... big boat you can tour

Mom taking out the enemy

boardwalk to the beach

hello weird bird

a lot of nurts were played this trip ... 

E loved Just Dance

She also loved getting to know her grandparents! 

Until next time San Antonio ... we love you!