Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Just because I can ...

As an English student I was always forced to look deeper into the words of authors. Well, as a self proclaimed author ... and slightly justified to a degree through a degree ... I am here to tell you that doing that may just be a crock. Want an example ... read this:


I stand among the living
yet feel like I am dead
standing at the doorsteps of incomparable mockery
the struggle of pain written all over my face
breathing
heaving
unable to comprehend the incomprehensible
forgiveness sought but rarely received
fighting
screaming
run, run for the life of the desired soul
control the uncontrollable
I will succeed ...


R said it sounded icky ... un -Christian ... he really didn't like it. I don't blame him ... I read it after I wrote it and it sounded dark. R asked if I was depressed.

I'm not.

Those words came out like word-vomit ... right when I was at a loss as to what to blog about ... so I looked inside ... and this is how I see it ... (and how I know that no matter how many times you look and over again at the work of an author you will never really know what they were meaning) ... The first two lines talk about how tired I am ... my b12 is still low and I feel like I could sleep all the time ... the next four talk about my shyness and social anxiety that I suffer from ... the next is work ... the following line is just filler, thought it sounded pretty ... the two that follow are about E and I ... The last three are about our monetary situation and the life that we are working towards.

I bet you didn't read it like that!

So, basically ... I don't know where I am really going with this post ... other than I didn't know what to write about ... but I knew I wanted to write ... and this crazy poem came out ... I thought it sounded pretty ... but then I didn't think that it would be a good idea just to post that because it makes me sound depressed and a little psychotic ... and so I turned it into something positive ... saying that literary studies are just as subjective as art ... so good luck and go with whatever translation benefits you most ... because ... honestly ... you will most likely be wrong.

Ok ... ummm ... let's let that be all of my craziness for tonight shall we.

Have a great night friends!