Monday, March 18, 2013

The exodus of the Combe family


So ... I know that I haven't blogged in forever ... but I had good reason ... I wanted to share that I was going on vacation to Texas!!! However ... It couldn't be shared just yet because it was just E and I going alone ... Not just going alone ... But driving alone! So, for safety reasons, we only told our dear friends the Deans, my sister, my in-laws, and of course my parents ... I mean ... You all know me ... I'm an open book ... But R gets a little nervous when I start blurting out that he is away and E and I are home alone ... He told me that I shouldn't talk about driving alone ... And so I have kept mum, and boy has it been hard.

Maybe I can paint a mental picture for you ... There I would sit ... Night after night ... Staring at a blank blog page ... Brimming with news that I was dying to share ... Rocking forward as the words reached all the way to my fingertips ... Quickly rocking backward to prevent them from coming out ... Reeling them back into my gut ... Over and over again this would happen until I would just give up for the night.

This didn't last forever ... I mean this was kind of an impromptu trip ... I have only known about it for a little over two weeks ... But you can imagine that for me ... The one who tells all ... That this felt like a really long time. 

But let me explain.

We all know that R travels for work ... Usually once a month ... But he hasn't for a little while now. R and I knew that another New York trip was in the works ... We just didn't know exactly when ... What was exciting for me was that we had a free flight and it was finally time for me to go with him! I mean ... New York City is like my lifeblood ... Every chance I ever get to even get a glimpse of that city ... Or spend time on Long Island with my family makes my entire year. Enter devastation when the time finally comes and our free ticket still doesn't cover the entire cost ... Hello three hundred extra dollars I don't have ... Goodbye special time with the hubby ... Curse you New Dawn for booking flights only two weeks out. 

Once the anger subsided (don't worry ... I wasn't angry for that long ... It's all good) I started the next stage of the grieving process ... Acceptance (ok ... I don't really know if that's what the next stage of the grieving process ... But that's where I went next) ... I decided that there would be a lot of time in front of movies and a lot of time over at the Deans (even if they didn't know it yet). E and I would be fine ... One week ... No problemo. Then the other boom was lowered. "Oh hey Ryan, I know that we all give you a hard time for how much you miss your wife after only eight hours, but we have decided that not only are we sending you to New York for a week but we are going to send you to Nevada for a week right after that, have fun", why thank you New Dawn, you are the kindest people ever (so ... I really do appreciate Rs employer, I just miss him).

Basically, when I found out that news, here is what ran through my head ... Well ... That sucks ... I hate being a big girl ... What am I going to do for two weeks ... I can't just camp out at the Deans ... The single mom thing is super horrible (like, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy ... Props to the woman who do it daily) ... Ugh ... This is miserable ... I can't handle him being gone for eight hours much less two weeks ... Hello the deepest depths of h-e-double hockey sticks that I have just entered (this was a literal thought) ... I wish I lived by my parents it might make it easier ... I should just go to Texas (that last part came out as actual words). R said do it ... And so two weeks later here I am ... Texas ... The house of the parents ... Sweating my brains out and still loving it. 

I don't think I knew long enough to get excited ... I mean ... I am a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl, but that is with day to day things ... I don't just get up and leave for weeks at a time without more planning ... Especially when E has school and a recital coming up for ballet ... But I did it ... Just left ... Two weeks notice then gone. It felt good ...it is something I feel like I would have done if I had ever had young and reckless days ... The responsible side of me is going a little crazy ... But nothing compares to the feeling of being with my parents (when I can't be with my hubby). I know it may sound weird for a lot of people ... But that is just me ... I love my family ... I would much rather be with them than friends ... Maybe it's my anxiety and my fam creates a comfortable zone for me ... But even when I had all these friends in high school I still loved being at home ... I know ... I'm a weirdy ... Get over it ... It's just who I am. 

And so we left ... All of us ... It was the exodus of the Combe family. Unfortunately R went in a different direction ... I can't even count how many times the parents have told me they miss R and how it isn't the same without him (what am I guys? Chop liver) ... Either way we will be gone for two weeks ... Making the most of life while life keeps us apart. 

And so from Texas I bid you goodnight my friends!! Have an amazing couple of weeks ... Hopefully I will still be blogging regularly!