So, with him being gone, I have decided to write him a letter ... WARNING: this post will contain severely mushy-gushy stuff ... if that makes your stomach turn than I suggest you stop reading right now.
I hope you are well down there in Midland, Texas ... I have been there before ... not that great ... but I am sure that you will have fun ... you always have fun with everything!
I have been mulling over this letter for the past two days ... I want it to be perfect ... but I fear that I will never be able to put into perfect words how I feel about you ... and so ... with your trip half done ... I have decided to make you a top ten list explaining why I love you ... why I know you are amazing.
- You are an amazing bread-winner ... because of you I am able to be a stay at home mommy ... I am able to put food in my belly and clothes on my back. You work so hard to make sure that our little family is taken care of. You do everything you need to with work ... even travel ... to provide for us ... which brings me to my second point ...
- You are a hard worker. Even though I beg and plead for you to come home some days I know how important it is for you to stay at work. You know that too ... because you are a super hard worker. Sometimes you even work so hard that you work through lunch without even knowing! Aside from work you are such a hard worker at home ... you make sure that I know that it is your "job" to do that dishes ... and your job to get E ready for bed each night. As if your day wasn't tiring enough!
- You are amazing dad! The way you love our lil E is so incredible to witness. Even though I may get angry with you sometimes because you play a little rough it is still so cute to see you playing with her. I know that she can tell that you love her!
- You are a GENIUS. Sometimes ... you are so smart that you intimidate me ... and I thought I was smart! You seem to know everything ... whenever I have a question I know I can ask you and usually you will know the answer. If you don't know the answer you know where to go to look for it.
- You are creative. This ties in with the last one ... because not only can you draw super well but you also are creative when it comes to work ... you create new ways to do things ... you can come up with new ideas on the spot. Most of them are genius!
- You make me laugh! You are so funny ... the nerdy-ness is your humor is the best part of it! You are odd and weird and those are some of the most wonderful parts of you!
- You are sensitive. Whenever I need to cry, complain, or freakout you are always there to hold me or listen to me ... even if I am being ridiculous (which, lets be honest, I usually am)! With all of that you somehow manage to be understanding ... and help me through everything (even when I am a brat).
- You are always quick with five wonderful things. Whenever I am down I always ask for five wonderful things to remind me that this world is still a beautiful place ... you always are ready with them ... like you can feel when I have a bad day.
- I can tell you anything ... this is probably my absolutely favorite thing about our relationship! the face that we are able to be 100% open and honest with each other ... that we can talk twenty-four seven ... knowing everything about each other ... yet still learning new things and having new things to talk about everyday! I love that we don't have to drive in the car with music ... but that we just talk the entire time!
- I love that you love Heavenly Father more than you love me! I will forever be grateful for the amount of spiritual strength you have ... when I am weak you buoy me up and help me be strong again ... and vice versa ... we help each other! I love teaching our primary class together ... you are so good with those kiddos!
- I love that you skype with me all night when you are away! I look forward to 4:30 every night because I know that you are going to be on my phone looking back at me ... talking to me ... Sometimes I feel you are still here ... but then I remember that I can't reach out and hold your hand ... either way though ... I love how you stay on with me all night ... that we can still eat dinner together ... that we can still read scriptures together ... that we can still go to bed together. It gets me through when you are not here.
- I love how handsome you are ... from your back to you smile to your eyes ... everything about you is handsome!
- I love how much you love me ... I can feel it ... it is practically palpable.
- You love my cooking ... no matter how many times I give you an out ... yanno ... we can always get pizza if it sucks ... yet somehow you always manage to go back for seconds and then lick you plate like it is the best thing you have ever tasted ... even though I know it isn't sometimes!
- We are so similar ... practically the same person ... in fact ... it is kind of eerie! We are often thinking the exact same thing at the exact same time ... even if we don't trust it ... it is usually the case! We can almost talk without speaking ... it is incredible!
I only wanted to do ten things ... but you see ... you are so incredible that it is impossible to only name ten. I just love you so much! I am so grateful for the day that you came into my life ... you came in and helped me from the beginning ... our lives were destined to be lived together ... you are my soul mate ... you are my person.We were truly forged together in a great fire ... one that I would gladly sit in again if it was the only way to bring me to you.
I am counting down the seconds until you get back ... practically literally. Get home soon ... get home safe ... I love you Ryan ... more that anything.