Onto E ... we need an update on the fit throwing. Now ... reminding again ... I am doing a month long experiment with my step daughter (I always tell her each week what way we are dealing with things ... so it is not like I am doing this experiment to her) ... each week I am changing how I respond to her fit throwing (believe me ... she throws a lot of fits) ... last week I ignored her (first telling her I was going to ignore her until she calmed down) ... this week I put her in her room ... It was a good week.
It had been a full week since E had been to her mom's house ... which means that her fits are a little less frequent ... still there ... just less often. Regardless ... I learned something valuable this week.
I must remind everyone ... I am not a psychologist ... I acknowledge that every child is different and ever situation is different ... I only report on how each reaction to fits affected our family.
I learned that putting a child in their room may not work for children of all ages. E seems to already be in that age group who has learned to take advantage of being sent to their room. Example ... on Tuesday E and I were cleaning ... about an hour and a half into it (we still had about another hour and a half until we would be done) E started to throw a fit ... not a big one ... just a complaining one ... with crocodile tears ... and so she was sent to her room ... as soon as I told her to go up there the tears immediately stopped and a smile slyly slid onto her face ... That is when I knew ... she had been sent to her room twice the day before ... she knew the drill ... she knew that going to her room meant that she didn't have to clean ... that she could play even ... and so she purposefully threw a fit (I could have swore I heard her singing while going up the stairs ... but that could just be my paranoia). Who wouldn't throw a fit though ... I mean ... seriously ... I would pull stunts like that all the time when I was younger (always to get out of cleaning ... hello lazy child) ... If I didn't want to something that my mom was making me do I would either act tired or throw a fit and always get sent to my room ... awesome right ... I could do whatever I wanted in there. E made that exact same discovery! Another honest statement ... it's not like dear old mommy can stay there to make sure she does nothing but read a book ... hello bigger fit with a ton of wasted time.
Therefore ... I this is what I have deduced:
- This calm-down technique is made specifically for the toddler age group ... strictly 2-4 (or until you can officially declare that your child has grown smarter than you and has figured out your punishment and used it to their advantage).
- If you as a parent need a break from your screaming kiddo for a second this is the way to go. If your child is older then they have probably figured out how to use this technique as a weapon ... however ... sometimes that is ok. Sometimes it is mom or dad who are the real ones who need the calm down time ... therefore this is the way to go ... it doesn't exactly teach the kiddo anything if they are at that older stage ... but I could provide you with the time that you need to not rip the head, arm, or leg off of your beloved child.
- This is probably something good to have in your back pocket ... you know ... in case you are the one who freaks out ... I think that infusing what disciplinary action you have decided works best for you with sending your child to their room (on those extra special occasions) you will find a way to keep both partied sane.
Ok ... I am losing it ... falling asleep and feeling like my eyes are on fire ... so I will end ... Next week I will be giving her the option between calming down and something horrible ... and then following through if she picks the horrible thing. It sounds fun ... and it sounds as if some of my household chores might get done (she did just come back from her moms).
Have a good night my friends, family, and followers! And happy parenting to you!